I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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