dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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