i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So much Jack, so little girl.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
