I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
