wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Text me some of your sweat
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