I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
