you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think i have two assholes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
