does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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