You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
