My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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