Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
