Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
