I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
