True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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