i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
