every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
