its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
