I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
