there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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