I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
