is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
