Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
