Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
