Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
