Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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