Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You can't special order awesome
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
