dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
