I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
