I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
