dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
