Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
