How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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