your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
