On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
