i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
