No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
