His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
