Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
