I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
