she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
