We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
