Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
