I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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