I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
