Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
