i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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