Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
we're so committed to being not committed
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
