Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
