I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
