Kiss
Puke
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
