i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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